VISUAL BLOG #6
Wondrous love, modern relationships and why they fail; A sculpture
Creating the scupture
Like almost everything I’ve posted, this sculpture was also created a few months ago. I made the base back in February, as I planned to post on Valentine’s day. But it ended up staying as it was for the next two months as I halted the creation, and finally finished this week.
The complete creation took 16 hours, and following materials were used:
- Cardboard boxes and newspapers for both bodies
- Newspaper for the shape
- Two mirrors to illustrate my ideas of the main issues of flawed relationships
- Pastel colours and flowers to illustrate the flowery romantic ideas
So keep me company and let’s explore modern relationships and love! ♡
The Idea behind
The problem with modern relationship
A person sees another, and thinks they just might agree to company them. They do, and that’s enough. Both call it love.
As I mentioned in my previous blog on approval, human beings are all naturally egoistic and self-centred. All constantly seeking anything that can make them feel better and better. Whether it’s a grand adventure or a peaceful retreat. Fed till throat by the constant flowery portrayal of love by the so-loved passionate movies and romantic music, having the perfect partner seems quite an amazing answer to get unending happiness and pleasure for OUR otherwise empty lives.
Whether one seeks the feeling of being admired or being respected, an identity or appreciation, safety or something to flaunt, it all collides at a common core. Most people love to constantly get what they need for themselves. Even if warmth stays low, the endearment feels good as long as the self-interest is served.
Thus simply, most lovers love to be loved.
Yet we wonder why this trainwreck of relationships in the life of almost each person we cross!
So, why do most modern relationships fail?
The final answer simply lies in how they begin and how they’re continued.
How most failed relationships begin?
So stunned in all aspects of life, a person sees another and sees a possibility of the so-celebrated thing called “love”. And there comes the gushy feelings.
Hence, It’s the idea of being in love that makes most relationships feel so good, not actually love. The beautiful possibility of a perfect venture.
To have somebody, just anybody.
Another reason is the fear of missing out. Humans are social creatures, dependent on their community to determine their own actions. The plethora of seemingly perfect love stories being showed off all around us naturally draws one towards the desperate need to just get a partner. Thus, finding a person that’ll love them becomes even a greater need than becoming the person they desire.
Never realizing their loneliness is not because their team is missing another, but first, because they are missing themselves.
How do these relationships continue;
As I said the need is often to get a person and fulfil our own desires rather than have a person and share each others adventures. So the beautiful honeymoon phase begins with all the amazing feelings for both involved. As it passes, taking away all the curated and perfect frosting, there comes real life. Complete with all its problems and the not so wonderful parts.
But if each person is only involved in a relationship with the main intent of THEM feeling great each moment, normal nuance is a nasty disappointment.
This constant need to receive and receive and receive turns the relationship bitter. Because when two people are together, both secretly only to fulfil their own desires or heal their own insecurities, it’s not love, it is a sweet co-babysitting agreement. In more formal terms, emotional co-dependence.
Yet none can leave the other. Why?
Often we can’t let go of our relationships not cause we're in love but because we crave love.
I’ve been using the term love here, but throughout, my use is to indicate anything that a person might be wanting from another in the disguise of “love”
These thoughts first captured my mind while reading the legend of Narcissus as mentioned in the prologue of The Alchemist. How? Well, let’s read it together;
The tale of narcissus
To summarize, Narcissus was a youth who knelt by a lake every day to admire his own beauty. So fascinated by his reflection, one day he fell into the lake and died.
Following his demise, the goddesses of the forest arrived to find the lake turned into a lake of salty tears.
It told them it has been weeping for narcissus. The goddesses said, “it’s no surprise” As they pointed out that in the entire forest, the lake was the one who got to witness his beauty most closely.
But their answer surprised the lake, as it questioned, “was Narcissus beautiful?”
In a sense of wonder, the Goddesses replied, “After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself !”
The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said:
“I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.”
Truly a lovely story. However you may interpret this tale, mine was in terms of how most young people seek love to please their own feelings.
These thoughts finally ended with a sculpture I created on the same theme. You will get to view that closely and even be part of its creation as you continue.
But first, we can conclude our exploration of this topic by answering how do we end the failing relationships and actually find a love that lasts forever? So here’s my understanding;
The love that lasts forever
To truly love a person is to love them for who THEY are not what one can get from them.
Not to have a perfect life, a perfect partner, or anything that will constantly please your soul. That kind of love is sought with self-needs and insecurity, something no person will be able to fully satisfy.
Or Let’s say it is all perfect today, you’re getting exactly what you want, but how long? Anything can change, and everything does. Constant happiness and pleasure are not “love”.
If things go bad, if things go better, in any case if you know and adore who that person is truly on the inside, that is to love them.
Be with someone you love for them simply for them and they love you for purely for you. Relationships will always take work and adjustment but that’s the love that is happily ready for it all, if it means holding that person in the end. The love that truly lasts forever.
Love them for both as they are and as they are with you.
Or don’t call it love, have your fun and be clear with your terms. Don’t fool yourself and don’t fool another.
Love for loving, equally, purely, unconditionally.
And that’s the end! But is it? I made a bonus blog, especially for the ones reading till the end! The next blog displays a long sarcastic poem on the same theme of love and its nonsensical, unrealistic portrayal. Check now!
P.S. I highly appreciate Your comments 🙂
[Published on : 23/05/22]